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Poker Jokes• Click here to download Noble Poker •Some funny Poker and gambling jokes:  A Bum Asks a Man for $2 The man says, "Will you buy booze?" The bum says, "No." The man says, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum says, "No." So the man says, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?" Angry Old Women Q: How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say f*ck? A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO! Beat the Casino What is the only way to keep your money from the casinos in Vegas? When you get off the plane walk into the propellers! Black-Sheep Blackjack Q: When is the only time you split tens? A: When the table is full and your buddies need a seat. Buy a pizza Q: How do you get a professional poker player off of your doorstep? A: Pay him for the pizza. Clams Casino How's a casino like a woman? Liquor in the front, poker in the back! Dog & Poker Player Q: What is the difference between a poker player and a dog? A: In about ten years the dog quits whinning. Floorperson and God Q:What's the difference between a floorperson and God? A:God doesn't think he's a floorperson. Gamblers Anonymous Rodney Dangerfield joined Gamblers Anonymous. They gave him three-to-one he wouldn't make it. Gambling Husband... "No wife can endure a gambling husband unless he's a steadywinner." Jungle Poker Why didn't the elephant like to play cards in the jungle? Because there were too many cheetahs. Mind Bet The best bet for a player to make is what is called a "Mind Bet" You stand behind the game watch the action and attempt to predict the winner. You never bet any real money you only bet in your mind. Last week a friend of mine lost his mind three times. Pizza and Poker Player What's the difference between a large cheese pizza and a poker player? A large cheese pizza can feed a family of 4, a poker player can't. Poker Advice Never do card tricks for the group you play with. Prayer For The Winning What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it! Split tens Q: When is the only time you split tens? A: When the table is full and your buddies need a seat. The Two Rules for Ultimate Success in Poker Never tell everything you know. Webster's Definition of Lottery Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. | Backgammon free | backgammon | backgammon | Internet Backgammon |